Peculiarities of Love
by Valor Grim
Summary: Vikings are not very patient. And when Stoic decides that Hiccup needs a little help in the love department, he takes matters into his own hands. Now Hiccup and Astrid are thrown into a whole other world they are woefully unprepared for... the world of marriage. Rated T for now, but may be subject to change later.
1. Chapter 1

***Raises from the dead* That's right folks, I'm back. I have been gone from fanfiction for a LONG while. However, I figured that I would give it another shot and see what happens. I've been reading a lot on this particular couple and I have to say, some of the authors here have captured my heart and my mind when it comes to Hiccup and Astrid. I don't plan for this particular story to last over 15 to 20 chapters, so it won't really be as epic as some other amazing authors here. I just hope I can do this particular couple right and tell a good story. Enjoy… I hope.**

If there is one thing you should know about Vikings, it's that they aren't a very patient people. This is kind of odd when you consider all the farming and fishing that goes on. Unfortunately, patience was probably the most lost on the chief of the tribe, Stoic the Vast. Whether it is spoiling for a good fight, preparing for the winter, or starting his day, he liked to begin early. And that trait showed in his most recent decision…

"You WHAT!?" Hiccup gasped as he jumped three feet in the air, stumbling over his wooden chair at the table.

"I told you, son. I spoke to the Hoffersons today and arranged a marriage contract between you and Astrid. I'm not blind, son. I see how you and the girl act around each other." Stoic smirked, thinking that he needed a pat on the back for picking up on the relationship he just knew his son was in. And to think, all it took was a kiss in front of him to figure it out. Heck, he was probably the only Viking that thought they were in a relationship; it was so quick of a kiss. Yep, he definitely deserved a pat on his back for his chief like observation skills.

"Why would you DO that?" Hiccup started to panic and hyperventilate at the same time. Toothless, who had been chowing down on some fish behind the two men, perked up to see his rider chocking on air. He shifted over slightly and moved closer to his friend, worry evident in his eyes.

"What? I was married around your age. And I think Astrid would make a great match. You two are already seeing each other, which is dangerous I might add, so I thought I'd do the safe thing and marry you two off before anything bad happened." Stoic, smug look and all, sat back in his chair with a grin. He knew Hiccup didn't know the law about dating. He figured now would be a perfect time to let him know.

Hiccup had calmed down somewhat at his father's explanation. And something kept nagging him in his head after he listened to him. "Dangerous? How is dating Astrid dangerous? I mean, aside from the punching and yelling and… you know you might be right. But that's aside from the point! We're not dating! What gave you the idea that we were?" Hiccup started to get a tad angry at his overconfident father.

"Oh, you may have fooled the rest of the island, but nothing happens on this island without me knowing about it. Now, Hiccup, as future chief, you need to know all the laws of this tribe. And there has been a lot of them that you need to learn. So you might want to start with this one. In our tribe, dating is fine to do, however, if the girl is found to have lost her purity before her wedding, the father of the girl has the right to behead the boy that took her purity from her. So you see son, I'm just protecting you. So I went and told Angnir that we should not risk you two dating very long. He likes you, son, and he said that he would regret beheading you if something happened." Stoic stretched a little as he leaned back a bit. His back was starting to ache, that meant that the cold was on the way. He thought about the storage for the village food for a second, then looked back at Hiccup. His son's mouth was open and all the color was drained from his face. "Are you alright, son?"

"Ah…uhh… I-I had no idea that law was there. But still! I'd never do that to her! I don't have enough courage to do that to her! How could you think that?" Hiccup was starting to feel overwhelmed. He wasn't panicking anymore, just sort of numbed instead. All this was hitting the poor boy too fast and he hadn't caught up with his feelings yet. His mind too busy trying to process the fact that him and Astrid were engaged. And his eventual death at her hands when she found out.

"You don't have the courage to love a woman, but you have the courage to face that beast of a dragon without fear? I find that hard to believe. Well, either way, what is done is done. The contract has been drawn up and finalized. It will all be alright. The wedding won't happen until the storms have passed, and if my back is telling me the truth, they will be here for a while." Stoic got up from his seat, dumped the remainder of his food in Toothless' pile of fish and then started to walk to his bedroom. "Best get some sleep, son. You'll have a long day tomorrow." And with that, the big chief was out of sight.

"Oh, the gods hate me." Hiccup slumped into his chair and stared at his half eaten mutton. If he was honest with himself, this could have been worse. Astrid and her family could have been over or his dad could have told him in the great hall or Snotlout could have been here to overhear it. The possibilities of this being worse were still there, but the impending anger that would inevitably come from Astrid just about made up for all of it. He looked over at Toothless, who after making sure that Hiccup was indeed capable of breathing, went back to eating his fish. "Well, bud, at least you'll be here." Hiccup grabbed his salmon and dumped it next to Toothless. He then sat down and waited for his best friend to finish.

After a few minutes, the fish were gone and Toothless was curled around his friend, having his chin scratched. Hiccup let his thoughts swirl around in his head for a bit, thoughtlessly scratching Toothless when it came to him. Yeah, sure, he'd thought about marrying Astrid. He had for a long time, but not so soon. Never in his imagination had he thought that he'd marry her after their second kiss. Heck, he didn't even know if they were dating. Sure, she kissed him twice and he knew that there was something there between them, but he didn't really know if it was considered dating or not. They never really broached the subject. But now, he has to think about marrying her. And probably without her consent.

No. He would not marry her if she didn't agree to it. He knew that if he did, it would not only kill any feelings that she might have for him, but also kill their friendship as well. Above all else, he knew how to cherish a hard earned friendship. Toothless, who was purring half asleep and in total bliss, was a case in point. He knew he didn't have a say in the matter. And to be fair, he didn't really mind that it would be Astrid he was marrying, compared to another girl that his father could have picked out for him. However, his feelings came secondary to Astrid's. Hiccup grit his teeth and slowly stood, waking Toothless up. He steeled his resolve and trudged up to his room. Regardless of what his father and chief had done. He would make things right. After all, him and tradition never really got along…

**I haven't really been the best in the world when it comes to updating and I get caught up in real life a lot, but reviews really go a long way to helping me along. I'm not one of the authors that demand reviews before I release stories, but I will say that the more reviews I get and opinions that I read, the better I feel about writing and usually the faster I update. That being said, please tell me how I'm doing and/or what you like or dislike about this so far. I would appreciate no flames, but if you feel that you must, it's your opinion. I just ask that you please keep it clean. Thanks for reading the first chapter! I hope that I'll have the next one up soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, I finally got to a computer to post! It was a tad later than I wanted it to be, but I finally got this thing posted. Now, let me clarify a couple things. First off, I know that some of the concepts that I will introduce are quite modern, but I would like to blend them in with old traditional ways that I have read about in Viking society. Sort of like Hiccup, a little forward thinking with some tradition thrown in and you get one heck of a Viking. For example, dating wasn't really something that happened much back in those days (or so I've read) so although my story has it, it really isn't traditional. However, marriage contracts and the like were used. I've done a little research, but if any of you feel that you know something that might help, please do not hesitate to tell me. I read each and every one of my reviews for this story and I like what they are saying so far! So without further ado, please enjoy the next installment of POL…**

Hiccup woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. His eyes searched to and fro until he visibly relaxed. Memories of Astrid's father haunted his dreams. The 6' 7" giant and blonde haired berserker with blood shot blue eyes wielding and overly large battle axe, chasing him around with wild abandon, foaming at the mouth, flooded his early morning thoughts. Hiccup reached up and felt his neck with his hand and gulped.

Toothless shifted a little then decided it was time to get up. He wearily made his way over to his slightly traumatized rider and burped in his face. Either to rouse him from his thoughts or just to be mischievous, no one will ever know. "Loki's Golden Horns! That's nasty!" Hiccup fell off the bed, holding his nose and trying his best not to gag. Toothless laughed at his buddy and left to find his breakfast.

Hiccup picked himself up and got ready. He had to talk to Astrid today. He had made up his mind last night. He had to speak with her and let her know that he would make sure that she wasn't forced into anything. Yeah, if he kept telling himself that, he would eventually have the guts to do it…yeah.

Foregoing breakfast, he stumbled downstairs and left the house without looking back. He'd like to say it was because he was that determined, but in truth, it was because quite a crowd had gathered outside near Astrid's house. It stole all of his attention and he quickly went to investigate. Nearing the commotion, he spotted Fishlegs overlooking whatever was happening. "Hey Fishlegs. What's going on?"

"Oh hey hiccup. I'm not really sure, but there is like +7 violence and +9 yelling coming from Astrid's house." By then, Hiccup could make out the sound of crunching wood and clongs of metal coming from inside.

Then with a loud, "DIDN'T THNK!? When do you EVER think? You never asked me what I wanted!" Astrid's screeching pierced the air followed by a body crashing through the door. Scratch that, her giant father wearing full battle armor and his axe flew out of her house, crashing through a reinforced solid wood door. Astird's dad, Angnir got up, limping slightly, and turned to run. "Well, what DO you want?" He asked, somewhat subdued.

"I want to BURY MY AXE IN YOUR SKULL!" Now, Hiccup was a great many things. A runt, a sceptic, a screw up, a general Hiccup, but a fool he was not. Quickly, he hid behind Fishlegs and peeked around his sturdy friend's girth. Astrid leapt out of her house and landed mere feet from her cringing father. Fury engulfed her as she raised her axe high above her, the picture perfect scene of a wild berserker turning on her allies. Unfortunately, (or fortunately for Angnir) a very distinct sound whistled into the enraptured audience. Somewhere in the crowd, someone yelled, "Night Fury! Get down!" Astrid turned her murderous gaze towards the sound and saw Toothless landing right next to Fishlegs. Leveling her best glare at the boy, Astird started moving towards the dragon. Fishlegs trembled for half a second before he screamed and ran off, leaving a very pale and very frightened Hiccup cringing next to his traitorous dragon. "Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile."

Hiccup gulped in fear and anticipation as the flaxen haired Valkyrie approached. He thought about escaping but quelled that false hope early. She would just catch him and be in an even worse temperament than she was now. He thought that it was ironic that the one girl he liked would be the one killing him. Gathering what wits he could, Hiccup fully stood up and started thinking of ways to placate his approaching death. Deciding on a plan of action he said "A-A-Astrid. Hey Astrid. Uhh… Hi Astrid." Not the most eloquent or placating, but that was all his impaired brain could produce. Apparently, fear not only makes Hiccup tremble, but less articulate as well. Astrid's demeanor didn't look amused in the slightest. But she DID throw her axe into the ground between Hiccup's legs.

"Hello, Hiccup. Is there anything in particular on your mind?" Anger seething out of her words and implied violence a promise if he didn't catch the hint. The once thoroughly engrossed crowd had disappeared at her approach earlier.

However, Toothless looked from his best friend to the girl that he liked. Toothless knew how dangerous she could be with her axe and knew that she was angry. So he backed away a little bit to see if Hiccup could calm her down. He sat on his haunches and watched what was about to unfold. "Wa-wa-well, I was going to come talk to you about something this morning." Hiccup chirped awkwardly.

"Oh really? You didn't think to come and tell me BEFORE I was bought like a slave!?" Astrid was steadily huffing in rage.

"I-I-I uhh… didn't know anything about it until last night. Dad sorta jumped me with it when we were having supper." Hiccup cringed and expected the usual response from her. When the pain didn't appear, he opened his eyes to see Astrid staring at him in mute confusion.

"Wait, so you didn't even know about it?"

"I was as shocked as you were, Astrid. Minus the violence, but still shocked. I didn't think dad would do that. I was hoping he was going to let me ask you on my own time."

Astrid suddenly stiffened as if struck by Thor himself. "Ask me on your own time? You were going to ask to marry me?" She took a step back, a small one, granted, but a step nonetheless.

Hiccup noticed and hurriedly added. "Well, yeah. Eventually. It wasn't going to be anytime soon. I mean, I had a ton of other things to ask first.. Could we start going out? Could we go out on dates together? Could you lay off the punches a little? Could you-."

"Hiccup, I get the picture." Astrid interrupted his rambling. She honestly didn't know how she felt with him talking like that. She had been furious with him earlier, which was fine. It was tried and true Viking feelings territory. She wanted to murder this little squirt and her father too for going behind her back like that. But to find out that he had nothing to do with it took all the anger out from underneath her. Then add the fact of how he was acting right now and she honestly had no idea what she was feeling. Her heart felt like her belly when it was full, and that was definitely not Viking feeling territory.

Toothless had finally seen the anger in the blonde vanish and saw that his best friend was a little worried about her. He saw the look of utter bewilderment and desperation flood across Hiccup's face. Now, there were very few times he saw Hiccup look this way and he didn't like it. In fact, both Vikings reeked with fear. Not that one of them would ever admit it, but Toothless could smell it. So Toothless did what any good friend would do. He wanted to get rid of the fear and comfort both the boy and the girl. He walked over to the middle ground between the two then coughed to get their attention. They both looked at him and only had time to gasp as he stood up, opened both his wings and engulfed the two in them, snapping the two Vikings into an impromptu hug that shut out the world around them.

It's amazing what you discover when you can't use one of the most important senses you have. For example, Hiccup found out that no matter how tough and sometimes painful Astrid's fists were, the rest of her was unbelievably soft. He felt sorry that she basically got thrown into a walking mass of elbows and knees that he knew he had to be. At the same time, Hiccup realized the position he was in and felt intense heat rise up his face. "Uhh… bud? You can let us out now." Hiccup's voice cracked with how nervous he suddenly felt. He heard a distinctive whine and huff that obviously meant they were staying like this for a while. "Oh, that's just great!"

"What?" This had to be one of the most embarrassing things that Astrid had ever done before. Her cheeks lit up almost to luminosity and she felt like punching something. Of course, closeness of the only boy in Berk that she even had a mild interest in wasn't helping her fury. But she shook her head of those thoughts and focused on whatever Hiccup was saying.

"He's not going to let us out for a while."

"What? Why not?"

"He's going to sleep." Hiccup sighed again.

"You're kidding."

"Nope, I'm afraid we're stuck."

"Let's just wake him up." Astrid went to tense up and elbow the reptile until Hiccup stopped her.

"Good luck waking him up. I've done everything short of beating him with a hammer. I couldn't get him to open his eyes."

"Well, we could pry ourselves out of here." Astrid was getting irritated with Toothless more and more now that she realized the situation that he put them in.

"Uhh… Astrid, I wouldn't move aroun-." Astrid's struggling and maneuvering caused Toothless to shift to a more comfortable position, which involved crushing Astrid against Hiccup and rolling over, causing Astrid to lie on top of Hiccup. Hiccup held his breath as even more of his crush came into contact with him. He was so dead, he knew it. There was no walking away from this. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, death by incredibly soft yet extremely violent Astrid Hofferson.

Astrid was thinking along the same lines as Hiccup, but the inability to move her arms, which were forced to either side of his ribs, caused her frustrations to gather in a deep sigh. "Tell anyone about this and you're dead." Hiccup nodded uncomfortably. "So if we are stuck here, in the middle of town I might add, how long until he lets us out?"

"I have no idea. Every time he does this with me, I'm stuck until morning."

"Great. My day couldn't possibly get any better." Astrid stopped and a chill ran down her spine as she realized how much like Hiccup she was sounding.

Meanwhile, Hiccup was gathering his courage to confront Astrid about the real reason he showed up. Finally, after concluding that he couldn't be more dead than he was right now, he cleared his throat. "Astrid, since we're kind of stuck, I wanted to talk to you about this uhh… thing."

"It's marriage, Hiccup."

"Yeah, that. Uhh, as I was saying, uhh.."

"I know you didn't have a clue. You must be so excited about it. Well, let me tell you, I don't care how much you were looking forward to how many children I'd give you. I'll kill you before that happens. I'm too young to be married. There is too much that I want to do before I get married. I'm not ready to become someone's housewife and mother. I want to have adventures and take Stormfly to different islands and explore the seas. And getting married would take all that away. I..I.." Astrid was ranting as her fears came forth in a flurry of words.

Hiccup heard how afraid she was. Not that he would ever tell her that, but it gave him the resolve he needed to interrupt her. In possibly the boldest move that would ever mark his life, he hugged Astrid's form to himself and started talking. "Alright. Then we won't get married. You're important to me, Astrid. I don't want to force you into anything. I want you to be happy and if marrying me would make you unhappy, then you won't. I'll talk to dad or something and I'll make sure it doesn't happen. I want to discover new dragons, tame them, fly Toothless with you and everyone else. I came to tell you that today. I just couldn't figure out how to say it. So don't worry Astrid. I'll take care of yo-…it. I'll take care of it."

Astrid was caught completely off guard. She didn't know how to react. When he started talking, she felt like skinning him alive for grabbing her. Then, he had to keep talking and now her heart hurt. Her eyes burned like she had cut an onion or something. The things this boy did to her made her so angry and confused, yet oddly comforting. She still wanted to beat him, but maybe he deserved something else afterwards.

Never being a woman of great patience, Astrid decided to act immediately before Hiccup decided to screw up more. So she drew back her head and brought it down on his quickly in a short, but painful head butt. "OW! Ok, I deserved that bu-." Hiccup was yet again interrupted by Astrid as she lowered her head again, but this time to stifle his moving lips with her own. Well, that was the plan anyway, but it turns out, complete darkness can mess with your aim and she kissed Hiccup on nose instead.

"Thanks for understanding, Hiccup." Hiccup's face fell slack with shock and his eyes drooped in a daze at the area in front of him. Confusion slightly contorted his features, but it was given the least amount of attention. Unfortunately, his reverie was broken as a random idea seemed to hit him from nowhere. Hiccup shook his head looked upward, even though he couldn't see anything. He sighed and realized how stupid he had been in times past when Toothless did this to him alone.

"I'm an idiot. I think I know how to get out of here."

Astrid was slightly confused and embarrassed. She had tried kissing him for a third time and missed, and then after what she thought was an awkward pause, Hiccup randomly jumped to a solution on how to get out of here. Boys were weird. "Ok… no argument on the idiot thing, but how do we get out?"

"Remember how all dragons, well most dragons, have a sweet spot around their jaws? I think if we can scratch Toothless there we can get out."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

"There is a slight problem…"

"What?"

"His head is a bit further up than I can reach. He has my feet, err… foot caught in between his hind legs. You will have to do it."

"My arms are stuck behind you."

"I can move my arms so you can reach up, but that's not the problem."

"Well, what is the problem?"

"Well, you're um… on top of me and uhh… you need to go further up.. and err.. you're a girl, so…"

Astrid saw where he was going. Her face lit up a very peculiar shade of red again before she grit her teeth. "We have to get out of here. Turn your head and close your eyes or I will feed you to Stormfly."

Hiccup gulped and nodded his head before lifting his arms and turning his head while closing his eyes. Astrid started to scoot against Hiccup and tried to get within arm's reach of wherever Toothless' jaw was. Unfortunately for poor Hiccup, he felt every single move she made and it wasn't helping keep his mind exactly pure. So he started reciting numbers and equations that he had come up with while building things at the forge. When her well bound chest finally brushed up against his head, he let out a small gasp. Thankfully, her spiked skirt was doing wonders with distracting him from impure thoughts.

Astrid finally found Toothless' sweet spot and scratched. That was all it took for the giant reptile to lose all motor function and went limp, releasing his Viking body pillow. Astrid and Hiccup tumbled out of his wings and rolled to a stop with Astrid on top. Unfortunately, their immediate feeling of victory and elation was thoroughly squashed as a wooden peg leg stopped in their line of sight. "Well, it's good to see you two getting along so well."

**There you go guys. I am sorry it took me so long to post, but you can thank my younger brother for keeping me in line and writing for you guys. I am extremely thankful for the reviews that I have gotten so far and I truly appreciate your constructive criticism. On that note, let me just add that this story takes place after the movie and doesn't necessarily include the tv series. I haven't seen all of them and I don't want to miss something important concerning it in my story if I included it. Still, I appreciate all of your support and will continue to write this until someone sentences my execution for marring the writing world with my ideas. I don't know when the next update will be, but reviews help me along a lot. I find inspiration in them, knowing that someone took the time to read my story and leave me a word of advice or encouragement. I can't thank you guys enough. You're awesome. So please continue to do so and I'll see you next time!**


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